


The worm curse

by MayWritesSometimes



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Other, Wormfest, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:27:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayWritesSometimes/pseuds/MayWritesSometimes
Summary: Sylvain angered a crafty girl who took revenge by cursing him and turning him into a worm.His friends try to help him but it turns out the curse is contagious.There are many worms ahead.
Kudos: 11





	The worm curse

Sylvain is a big man. 

Ingrid has spent too many hours repeating that the taller the man, the harder the fall, and Sylvain has spent all of it ignoring her and winking at cute girls. 

But at the end of the day, he's a big man, and the fall is hard. Not that painful, mind you. The one who tripped him probably thought she was going to bruise his ego, squish him under her heel as figuratively as she tried to do literally, but she failed to understand that Sylvain has absolutely no ego whatsoever. Gets in the way of things. 

So it is with more lightness to his writhing than she had thought that Sylvain escapes from the angry, screeching fury that he seduced two weeks ago, bed the next week and tired of two days later. He'd thought her boring. He was very very wrong, not that it makes his situation any better. 

Squirming, Sylvain makes his way back to the monastery, avoiding any major danger, and especially the cats. His training at scanning the skies for enemy Pegasus comes in especially handy as he dodges a few hungry birds, and he decides to stay clear from the lake lest some dedicated fish aficionado gets the wrong idea while glimpsing him crawling on his belly. 

He's come quite a long way from the town and fatigue is setting in as he comes into view of the massive dormitory building. Now, who to get for help? 

The professor is an option, but they could be anywhere in the monastery at this time of day, and if Sylvain falls asleep waiting for them, there is a very real possibility that they will accidentally kill him on sight. Just roll up exam papers and squish him, or step on him, or even cut him to pieces with the sword of the creator. 

While Sylvain would usually kill to have the professor step on him, in this case he would rather avoid it. 

Anywhere near Claude or Linhardt would be much too dangerous, as Sylvain has no intention to end up in a glass jar and experimented upon. No, he needs someone who knows him well enough to be willing to help, and the only people who would are in his own class. 

Ingrid would be a good choice, but getting upstairs is a high risk. It's much easier to camouflage while out in the open, between cracks of pavement, under leaves, behind a crate… Which leaves one helpful and gentle soul who might just be home and agree to help. 

Sylvain squirms his way to Mercedes' room, and is happy to find her there. 

She has company over, and Annette is sitting on Mercedes' bed and chirping cheerfully. Sylvain is not actually listening, he rarely does, but the sight of the two ladies is comforting in its normalcy. 

That is, until Annette screams bloody murder. 

She screeches and jumps on the bed, backing into the wall in visible terror. Mercedes turns on her chair, looking for the origin of her friend's distress, and her gaze fall on Sylvain. 

"Oh." 

Sylvain does his best to half his chest high, which isn't that easy when one cannot tell where the chest ends and other parts begin. 

"Hello ladies, sorry to interrupt" 

He doesn't get any further than that because Annette is emitting a sound so powerful and high pitched that no mirror will come out of unscathed in a five miles radius. Dorothea is going to be so jealous. 

"This awful thing!!! It TALKS" 

Mercedes is still as a statue. Our maybe she just went deaf years ago from her bad frequentations. 

Sylvain coughs. 

"First, ouch. Also, yeah, I've always talked." 

Annette's lips tremble. She looks about to burst into tears. 

"Is that… That voice.. It sounds almost like…" 

Mercedes gives him an amiable smile. 

"So it's you, Sylvain. Would you like to join us for tea?" 

"Mercie, this can't be Sylvain! This is a gross, dirty, awful worm!!!" 

"Come on, it can't be as bad as that" 

"You're covered in orange hair" 

Sylvain tries to wiggle non existent eyebrows. 

"I mean -" 

Mercedes interrupts, coaxing Annette to sit back down on the bed. 

"I'm sure Sylvain has a perfectly good explanation for all that." 

Which brings them both to stare at him, waiting for said explanation. And if he tells them exactly what happened, they'll never agree to help him and say that he deserves everything that came his way. 

" Well, I was obviously cursed. The curse turned me into a worm, and when I realized I came straight here." 

Annette frowns. 

"Who cursed you?" 

"I don't know." 

Mercedes frowns as well. 

"How terrible. Are you quite certain you have no idea who would wish such awful things on you?" 

"Quite. Anyway, it doesn't matter much right now. I need help to break the curse first." 

They look thoughtful. He isn't certain that they believe him, but the curse part of his story is hard to doubt, as he currently lies on his hairy belly on Mercedes' carpet, and he wasn't exactly lying when he said that it was the important bit. Annette has encyclopedic knowledge of many forms of rare magic, she might know something about curses. Mercedes turns towards him. 

"I really want to help you, Sylvain, but I can't think of anything to do with curses…" 

Annette frowns again, this time with the determined look she gets sometimes. It looks cute on her. 

"A curse… Well, the best way to break a curse… Oh, but this is impossible…" 

"What are you thinking about, Annie?" 

The girls lean toward each other, Annette about to confide in Mercedes. Sylvain likes it a lot when Mercedes leans forward usually, but from the floor he doesn't get to see much. Truly his is a terrible fate. 

"Well… It's a kiss." 

That brings Sylvain right back to the conversation. 

"A kiss?" 

Annette, red as a tomato, nods furiously. 

"Yes, a kiss on the lips will break the curse. Oooh, but I really can't… You're too gross!!!" 

Her eyes shine with unshed tears. Is he so absolutely repulsive that the bare thought of kissing him is enough to make her cry? 

"Don't worry, Annie. I'll do it." 

"You will?!" they both cry out. 

Mercedes smiles. She has the gentlest smile, and the gentlest heart, that Sylvain has ever met. At first, he thought she was just a naive, sheltered girl, but just like Ashe, she turned out to be much smarter and sharper than he thought, choosing to cultivate her kindness and treat others the way she wished they would have treated her. 

"Of course. If one little kiss is all it takes to free you of this dreadful curse, I want to help you." 

She gets up, smooths out her skirt, and kneels in front of Sylvain, gently scooping him up in her hands. Annette is staring with a mix of curiosity and unabashed horror on her face. She lifts him up to her face, squints a bit as she tries to aim right, and kisses him. 

It's not the best kiss he's had, but to be fair, he is currently a worm and works are not known for their great sensitivity to kisses. He does feel tingly and strange, and suddenly a great pressure as of he were falling. 

And then he hits the floor. 

His tiny body and light weight make the impact much more bearable, but it's still a shock. Especially since Mercedes lands right on top of him, and Annette is screaming again. The crushing weight of Mercedes' hot buns lifts quickly, and Sylvain wonders if the light he's seeing is heaven opening its gate for him. 

Wait, that has to be a mistake. Heaven would not welcome him like that. Also Annette is still screaming, but now it sounds a bit more like words, only uttered as close as possible to ultrasounds. 

"Oh goddess, what are we gonna do? This is a disaster!" 

Sylvain blinks. 

"This is not what was supposed to happen!" 

"It's okay, Annette. We'll find a solution." 

Sylvain looks for Mercedes but can't find her, even though her voice sounded really close. 

"Down there, Sylvain." 

And right in front of him stands - er, is, rather - beige, hairy, worm shaped Mercedes. 

So. The curse is contagious. 

Also Mercedes isn't trying to kill him, which is a good sign. 

Annette squats in front of them, tearing her hair out of their neat ties. 

"What went wrong? Come on Annie, think!" 

Suddenly she gasps, her eyes comically round in realization. Then she points an accusatory finger at Sylvain. 

"It wasn't requited love!" 

Out off all the things they could hold against him, this is not the one he would have chosen. 

"Wait, what? Requited love?" 

"Yes! It can only work if it's requited love, and you and Mercedes don't live each other! I mean, you certainly don't love her. She likes you enough, even - er, anyway." 

The beige Mercedes worm looks like she's blushing, and also like Annette can cross sweets off their tea parties for a while. Sylvain puts years of practice to use to keep his voice steady and even, repressing a chuckle. 

" So what now?"

Annette frowns, thinking. 

"Well, I love Mercie and she loves me, so the best thing would be…" 

She looks at Mercedes and makes a face.

"I'm sorry Mercie, you just look… Super gross right now…" 

"It's okay Annie, take your time" 

Mercedes apparently does not consider for a moment that her friend might be so repulsed by her work appearance that she might refuse to kiss her. Sylvain admires her unwavering faith. 

"Okay, here goes!" 

Annette grabs Mercedes, and shutting her eyes stubbornly close, smashes her into her mouth. Mercedes does not turn back into a person. Annette shrinks, her limbs fade into her body which grows thick, lustrous ginger hair. 

"Damn it." 

Then she screeches again, and the door bangs open. Sylvain ducks out of the way of the professor, who's marching in with the sword of the creator glowing in their hand. 

"Professor!" the girls exclaim. 

Well. Maybe they do need a responsible adult. 

"Who's talking? What did you do with Mercedes and Annette?" 

The professor points their sword intently towards the discarded piles of clothes that once covered the girls. Then again, maybe the professor isn't the best choice for a responsible adult. 

"We're down here, professor! Sylvain is here as well." 

The professor looks down, sees the three of them - quite hard to miss with both Sylvain and Annette sporting fiery colors - and blinks. Which is a big expression on their face. They might as well have gasped, walked backwards and clutched at their heart. 

"What happened?" 

Sylvain tells the story as quickly as possible with Annette interrupting constantly. 

"And that's why we need a true love's kiss to break the curse, and not just friends love", she finishes. 

"I don't know anything about curses… Maybe Hanneman could help. I'll go get him." 

"Professor, wait !" 

They're already out the door. Sylvain doesn't blame them. After all, Annette's theories haven't been the most successful until now. The girls start taking among themselves, speculating who should kiss who in order to free them all from the curse with a true love's kiss, dow-jones is made much more complicated by the fact that they don't know anyone who might have feeling for them. 

"Mercie, you should ask Dedue. I saw him looking at you the other day at the choir practice…" 

"Why don't you ask Ashe, Annie? I know you two have been spending some time together lately." 

Sylvain thinks about it but he knows he doesn't feel that way about anyone. It's precisely what got him into this conundrum in the first place. 

A shadow crosses the threshold. 

"Mercedes, you shouldn't leave your door open like this. You'll -" 

Felix stops in the middle of his sentence, his eyes wide in horror as he finally spots the three of them. For a split second, Sylvain is afraid that he's going to scream just like Annette did, but instead, he unsheathes his sword in one fluid motion and takes a swing at Sylvain I deftly evade it. 

"Die, abomination!" 

"Strangely enough, not the first time I've been told that." 

"Sylvain ?" Felix asks, his down deepening, but not withholding his next attack, that goes through one of Mercedes' chair like butter. Sylvain always thought she had too many of these lying around anyway. 

"Yes, it's me, your good friend Sylvain, who got cursed and turned into a worm. Now would you mind stopping trying to murder me?" 

Felix does halt, but keeps his sword purposely pointed straight at him, the sharp tip only a few inches shy from his hairy, hairy body. 

"Cursed?"

"Unfortunately." 

"Who was it?" 

"I don't know." 

"Umpf." 

Felix turns on his heels and is gone before Sylvain can add anything. Annette and Mercedes crawl out of their hiding spots. 

"You should have asked him, the tension between you two is -" 

"Do not finish that thought, please." 

Being turned into a worm is enough life altering experience for one day in his opinion. The depths of his relationship with Felix can wait for another time. With some luck, a time where he has a human appearance again. And abs. 

"Mercedes, are you here?" 

She squirms forward as Jeritza's long hair sway in the wind, just outside the door. His face is hard to see with the sun setting right behind him, but his aura is as threatening as ever. 

"I'm here, Emile." 

"So it is true. Who is responsible for this curse?" 

"We do not know…" 

"I see. There is one last thing for me to do, then." 

For the third time in less than an hour, someone takes an aggressive swing of their sword to Sylvain's head, who dodges skilfully. Out of all of them, Jeritza's attack is the closest to a hit, and it makes all Sylvain's hair stand out. 

"I will wash my sister's honor in your blood, worm." 

Annette cries out, and maybe Sylvain joined her, but it was only out of solidarity, and certainly not out of blood curling terror. Mercedes intervenes, writhing on the deadly path of the sword with no fear. 

"That won't do, Emile. We need him to lift the curse. Only him can do it." 

That's news to Sylvain, but he's not about to argue and nods furiously instead. Annette does the same from her corner of the room. Jeritza sheathes his blade, and goes without a word. 

The sun is setting beyond the lake and Sylvain thinks about all the legends and fairy tales he read as a child, with Felix, Ingrid and Dimitri piled up around him. As the eldest, he often was the one to read aloud, and he liked how enraptured they were with the stories, eyes shining bright, drinking in his every word. There were a lot of stories of curses, of princes turned into frogs and young maidens given the appearance of repulsive, twisted things. All these curses could only be broken by a pure heart, or a pure love, which is pretty much the same anyway, just as Annette has suggested here, but they also have a time limit. Before sunrise. Before the north star dips behind the horizon. Before the last petal of this rose falls to the ground. 

He wonders if he's exceeded his own time limit, if he's going to have to live as a worm from now on, small and wiggly and fuzzy, in constant fear of birds, cats and enthusiastic fishermen. With some coaxing, maybe Ingrid will agree to carry him in her pocket. Felix would absolutely refuse. He might even learn how to fish just to spite Sylvain. 

"Linhardt, wait !" 

The distant, but clearly approaching, voice of Caspar cuts through Sylvain's musings and Linhardt skids to a halt on the threshold. This certainly is the first time that Sylvain saw him run anywhere, as even Mercedes has less of an aversion for physical exhaustion than he does. Linhardt is infamous for refusing to do any tedious task, and there is on ongoing, unofficial contest between him and Hilda for the title of laziest student to have ever attended the academy. 

"Oh goddess, this is amazing. Can I pick you up?" he asks excitedly as he does pick Annette up. 

She protests a bit, but it's half-hearted. 

"My first real life curse. I would have never thought… How curious! You really are covered in hair!" 

"I don't need reminding! This is the worst" 

Using her distraction, Linhardt quickly lifts her up and kisses the top of her head. 

"Linhardt! Why did you do that! You're gonna turn into a worm now!" 

"That's exactly what I'm hoping for." 

Caspar has caught up and is watching with half panicked and half weary eyes. 

"And they say I'm the idiot." 

"We both know that's not true" 

Linhardt wiggles out of the pile of his clothes, long, lithe body covered in forest green hair. 

"Now this is interesting. Caspar, quick, kiss me!" 

"No way! I'm not turning into a worm!" 

"But I need to know if this curse is restricted to crest bearers." 

Caspar shakes his head energetically and backs away slowly, bumping into the immovable frame of Dedue. 

Sylvain's stomach sinks. Dedue has this way of looking at him, with disappointment, as if he's entitled to expect anything from him solely because of Sylvain's friendship with Dimitri. It makes Sylvain's son crawl and his blood boil in his veins. 

"Whoa, sorry, didn't see you there." 

Dedue's stern face is hard to read at best, and now is no exception. His teal gaze scans the room, silently counting the piles of discarded clothes and the colorful worms on the floor. Sylvain doesn't expect the conclusion of this thorough analysis to make him any favors. Finally, he speaks. 

"Does the professor know?" 

"Yeah, they went out to fetch Hanneman." 

Dedue nods, and crosses his arms. 

"Then let's wait." 

Caspar finds himself somewhat trapped inside the room, while Linhardt keeps asking for a kiss in the name of science and Dedue watches over them all, clearly in the mind of limiting this strange epidemic to the people inside this room. It might not be a bad idea though, as if Dimitri knew anything about this, he would absolutely try to kiss someone because he's a prince and that usually does the trick in stories. The girl Sylvain has crossed doesn't seem to play by this kind of rules and he would just find himself wormified and then Dedue would kill Sylvain. 

"I brought the best curse expert, come on! Why don't you let us through?" 

This easy-going tone can only belong to one man : Claude. Sylvain glimpses the shy Marianne behind him, and then Hilda closing the group, and probably blocking Marianne's path to make sure that she doesn't run away. Poor girl would certainly rather be a worm right now. Claude ducks under Dedue's guard while Hilda distracts him, tugging Marianne inside the room behind him and nearly stepping on Linhardt. He doesn't pay them any mind, still at it with Caspar. 

"Hello, friends! I have come with the one and only curse expert in this academy. Marianne, my dear, go ahead." 

Marianne usually looks down at her shoes, which in this case is rather useful as she obviously states at the worms this way. Mercedes gives her an encouraging smile and Annette looks at her curiously. 

"I… I don't think I can help… I don't know how to lift curses." 

"Neither do we, obviously." 

"Thank you, Linhardt. Now could you please get off my leg?" 

Marianne stares while Caspar tries to shoo Linhardt away without flat out swatting at him. Linhardt is exploiting his friend's remorse to continue his ascension. 

"No, curses can't be lifted. You'll be worms forever." 

Annette screams, and Sylvain finds out that he's gotten quite used to it by now. It sounds familiar and even a little bit comforting. Which is a good thing, because of they get stuck to live their lives as worms Annette will definitely scream anytime she sees her reflection. 

Claude looks unimpressed by the whole thing and come to lean against the wall near Sylvain. Hilda disappeared after she helped him sneak in, and Dedue has taken up his watch, his face sour. 

"So, Sylvain. Who did you upset to end up like this?" 

"I don't know. I'm so charming, I don't get how anyone could want to curse me. Honestly, I think this has to be a mistake." 

Claude chuckles. 

"You're probably right. Do you remember anything from when it happened? Magic, an invocation, a chanting, drinking something? Maybe someone drenching you in something?" 

The girl had been screaming and making a scene, and then she threw what he had assumed to be her glad in his face. Now that he thinks about it, maybe it wasn't her glass at all, and she had prepared it beforehand. 

"Who would plan that kind of thing?" 

Claude hums. 

"Maybe someone who heard about you. You have quite the reputation, you know." 

"Oh, his reputation is dreadful, but Sylvain isn't all that bad. He has good heart underneath." 

Mercedes gives him a radiant smile. 

"Yeah! He's a terrible flirt, but he's also a loyal ally who always has our back on the battlefield." 

Annette gives him the worm equivalent of a thumbs up, while keeping her distances and trying not to look at any of them too directly. It gives her a loopy expression, in an endearing way. 

" Um, and you're very gentle with your horse."

Marianne hints at a smile. 

The show of support is so unexpected, Sylvain doesn't know what to say or how to react. Hopefully it is cut short by the arrival of one last angry lady, and his favorite, no less. 

Ingrid comes marching in just as Linhardt finally tricks Caspar into kissing him and they tumble to the floor. Caspar makes a very bright worm. Sylvain hopes there's a cure because Caspar will not live long in the wild. Linhardt immediately loses all interest as he realizes that this curse has nothing to do with crests. 

"Okay everyone, playtime over. Claude, Marianne, thank you for coming but we need the space so unless you plan on getting yourselves cursed I'm gonna ask you to leave." 

Felix is sulking behind Ingrid, and there is a third person with them. Claude sighs and walks out while Marianne dashes like a spooked kitten. Dedue has moved aside to let everyone move around now that Ingrid is here. This woman certainly is something else. 

"Great. Now you go inside." 

Felix pushes the third person, who walks in with short, nervous strides and takes off her cloak. 

It's her. The girl who cursed him. And tried to squish him. What's her name again? 

"Sylvain, don't you have anything to say to Marguerite?" 

Thank goddess for Ingrid. 

"Uh, yeah, I do. Marguerite, I have hurt you,and for this I am deeply, deeply sorry. I never meant to. I have acted like a selfish asshole." 

"Yeah you did." 

"I should have told you from the start that I wasn't looking for anything serious." 

"Hmpf." 

"And I should have been more sensitive and -" 

"How about not lying, fuckface? How about not telling me you loved me, or that you had never felt like this before, that I was waking something in you you didn't know existed? You played me. Like a fucking violin. Now I've given you your real appearance and you can squirm for me like you promised to."

Well, that's humiliating. Then again, Sylvain has no ego, so it's bearable. And if crawling on his belly is what it takes to get Mercedes, Annette, Linhardt and Caspar back to their normal selves and normal lives, well, that's what he's going to do. None of them asked for this. Well, except Linhardt maybe, but he's definitely strange. 

"You're right. Let me crawl before you. Let me beg, not for me, but for my friend here. They're innocent victims." 

"They're the only reason I accepted to come." 

"And I can swear to you that I've learned the price of my lies." 

There is a pregnant pause as Marguerite thinks this over. Felix, every impatient, breaks it. 

"You can always beat the crap out of him when you've broken the curse."

Ingrid glares at Sylvain. 

"Yeah, I'll hold him for you if you want." 

Marguerite sighs. 

"Fine. I just… Never want to see your stupid face ever again, or I'll turn you into a fucking carp and have your professor eat you." 

Now that is a blood curling thought. They would most certainly eat him even if he talked. The professor does not joke with fish. 

Marguerite breaks another glass container, this time smashing it under her heel in the middle of the room. A purple vapor exits, swirling in hypnotic waves, and Sylvain is surprised to see that Mercedes, Annette, Linhardt and Caspar all thought of getting back in their clothes before they could transform back. 

So now Sylvain is standing naked in the very packed room. 

Annette is so red she might explode, while Mercedes and Linhardt both looks appreciatively. Caspar averts his eyes, the tip of his ears turning a dangerous shade of crimson. 

Marguerite turns away and leaves before he can thank her, Ingrid slaps him across the face and Felix stares at him, arms crossed, expression blank. 

"What a wormeful day we've had." 

Ingrid slaps him again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so luck for reading this!
> 
> It was so stupid, but so so fun to write, it really took my mind to a funny and stupid place and that's the best. 
> 
> May you be visited by hairy worms yourself, I bet they're super soft. 
> 
> Come talk to me on Twitter, I'm @MayHMagnolia!


End file.
